Oh an another thing...

My operation for my bad ear is on Thursday, I will look like This (scroll down) but don't worry, its nothing drastic. This webpage has pics of what my operation looks like. Don't look, its disgusting. I told you not to look!!
I have prepared for this operation by taking out a subscription to BUST, -haha, now you have to come and visit me Saara!! I will also do some sewing, clean the bathroom. Ahh the sweet feeling of nothing but errands to do.
I wish my time off would look like this:
Monday
Darn a sock, go to the post office, buy a pork chop and some liver for the cat.
Tuesday
Starch and iron clothes, water plants.
Wednesday
Soak beans for stew, take in skirt, reorganise cupboards

But in fact it will look like this:
Monday
Get up at 12, take stuff out of cupboards, read magazines
Tuesday
Have shower, put hoodie on over pyjamas, eat soup, watch tv
Wednesday
Spend 4 lost hours on internet, put stuff back in cupboards

Saara, this one's for you...

Hey so if you've noticed the links on the right, I am so proud to be able to display the budding fruits of my labour working in a shit boring office. Thanks to Saara and her nursery-school html for ms_morons I can now proudly show the world what I've learnt in one year of surfing the internet 7 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Gotta go, need to add more links..

Hey everybody! Hey doctor dick!

I was delivered to the hospital by a very nice Saki-reading taxi driver. Then I saw the most beautiful woman in the world number 3, she had white and almost no eyelashes, with red lips, dark hair and inky deep eyes. A Doctor took care of me and when I asked if they were going to remove much of my mastoid bone, the lump behind your ear, he tried to assure me that there would barely a scar, no-one would able to tell.
Well I wanted to inform Mr Doctor that I didn't really give a shit about a scar -who does unless its massive and goes from eye to lip? I just wanted to know how much bone they were going to remove. Moron, just because I'm a young woman and you're an idiot doesn't mean I care about scars.
The Nurse Rosie saw me and she was lovely, and we filled out this form where she asked me if I had heart trouble, palpitations, a cough, dizzyness and a whole host of other ailments. I have never felt so healthy in my life!
Then I got my blood taken from a curt woman who kept eyeing me up like I was being weird. All I did was roll my sleeve up. Anyway she took blood for ages, by the end I had my face turned right round and my hand covering my eyes and the other fist drumming on the chair.
This from the person who when asked by Rosie if she was afraid of needles said 'no'.
Finally managed to wee in a cup and then went home.

Spied some really good chraity shops, if I'm not feeling to woozy after my operation I will ask Jo to stop me outside St Catherine's Hospice. Double fronted, check, obscure charity, check. Its bound to be pure charity gold.

Obsene!!

There is a website dedicated to getting George Galloway back to work, don't really care but if they keep censoring his political opinions like that then what's the point of him being in there?

Bollocks

It is so easy to shut your eyes + ears to all the shitty stuff going on.

From Cap'n Drunky to Cap'n Blanky (NYE roundup)

New Year's Eve was pretty wicks to say the least. We started off at Phil's, drinking vodders cranners and headed off to Prawn's house where we met Ahluvya's friends Chloe and Sarah. Sarah is Chekistani efnic, so we're going to form our own support group.

Then we went to my old-slash-new house, and headed off to Fitzherberts. There was the usual crowd, Charlie showed me her gorgeous-slash-disgusting bag she got off Rich. Might I add I dramatically failed to get served there, all the bar staff were fucked and I waited and waited but...whatever. It put me in a bit of a bad mood but I took loads of pics of everyone getting off with each other at midnight which cheered me up.

Then we went back to my old-new house and started party hunting. Alan had just asked why with my many connections I hadn't been able to find a party and I was trying to explain to him that I'm not really that popular, just a drunkard, when my phone went off and it was none other than Spammy with a party for us.

Sam pouring beer down the back of my jeans.

Me getting her back.

We then went off to Mo's party, who is the big brother of Zainab, my Chemistry A-level lab partner at Chiswack. We picked up a Spaniel, who was just about to go to a Bob Dobbs free party behind London Road, and a Sad Sack who was on his way home. Also there was Joe who I got off with at Emilie Bob's party about seven years ago.
He didn't seem to be that amazed when I brought that up..what's wrong don't you love the paris hilton face???

I made up 'Penis Juice' a NYE 2006 special 'cock' tail. Safe to say I was drunk by this point.

After Mo's we went to the free party on London Road which was remarkably good, there was no techno, and a mirrorball, thanks Spanno!!

By the time we left there was just me, Phil, Prawn, Ahluvya, Sarah and Chloe (who by the way had made the most incredible recovery from being out cold Cap'n drunky at 1 am to awake and alive by 4, I have never seen anything like it!) we went back to Prawn's where we met up with Dave.

We got home by 9.30 am, got up at 3.30 the next day and went to the pub to meet up with Rodney and Henry. We met up with Spammy and the rest who were back to London and even Milosh and Tait made it to the pub with a million disgusting paintings.

Back at Phils Prawn came over and we made seven portions of sausage and mash, with spring greens and yorkshires...mmm arllgghh. And watched dvds, I think Prawn was a bit confused by The Mighty Boosh.

I heart the internet

First day back and my id has been deleted meaning I can't do any work even if I wanted to and I have exhausted my precious reserve of internet distractions. Needless to say by 9.30 am I had read the Guardian, I have now even used up my trump card of looking at everything Topshop has for sale.
I have even been a-job-hunting, which was fruitless. I still have ampnet and the furthest reaches of gu.com.